


Deconstructing Gods

by sparkinside



Category: AFI
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10188683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkinside/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: You can only push someone so far.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This piece originally started as something far different. It was supposed to be angry Advey sex. 
> 
> Yeah, that morphed from that into what happens when Davey pushes Adam too far and Adam decides that enough is enough. That this happens to be more in Davey's head than Adam's came from my brain wondering what that would look like to Davey, what it would feel like to understand just how far reaching your actions and reactions are. 
> 
> My muse has decided that angsty is the way to go at least at this point in time. 
> 
> This isn't beta-read. So if there are mistakes, please forgive them. 
> 
> Disclaimer: None of this is real. It never happened. Everyone in this piece owns themselves, I just enjoy taking playing with fictionalized versions of them.

“I want you gone.” 

The words, though unnaturally calm and even, ripped through the silence of the apartment, the shock of them forcing Davey to turn on his heel to face the now opened door way. Adam stood halfway in the room, the cold, quiet rage that radiated from him sent a shiver of fear down Davey’s spine.

Adam, as a general rule, was a level-headed man. It was almost unnatural the calm Adam seemed to exude; the way he could, and most often did, laugh off just about anything. He rarely raised his voice, rarely snapped, but when he did his anger was loud, brash, and devastating. 

Davey had witnessed the wake of Adam’s anger only a handful of times, though he had never been its cause. He had always prided himself on being one of the few who could ground Adam, could bring him back to himself. But this quiet, seething anger was altogether different. It was something he didn’t understand, didn’t know. 

The only question he had was why. What had he done that had pushed the man standing before him so far over the edge? But even as the thought crossed his mind, understanding dawned. Jade. Somehow, it always came back to Jade. 

Jade had always been the one weakness Davey could never seem to let go of; the sick, desperate part of himself that he had clung to regardless of the destruction it wrought. He had always brought out the very best and, quite honestly, the very worst in him. The highs had always been breath-taking and the crash that always followed was never anything sort of devastating. It had been a constant battle of wills between them, neither willing to concede to the other. They didn’t, and would never work, but Davey couldn’t stay away; couldn’t keep himself from falling into the grooves they had so meticulously cut into themselves so long ago. And when they had ended all those years ago, the fallout from that had nearly destroyed him

Adam had been there, as he always was, to pick up the pieces and help to slowly rebuild. It hadn’t been anything more than friendship in the beginning, a genuine need to ease the pain of the person he’d considered one of his oldest and dearest friends. Adam had always been one to give freely of himself, never asking for anything in return. He’d been the breath of fresh air Davey had so desperately needed. The calm within the center of a life that had spun so wildly out of his control. And Davey had leaned on him gladly.

He couldn’t say when things had changed between them, could barely remember when that line had been crossed let alone which had finally been the one to do it. The only thing Davey could say with any certainty was that they had. Every touch, every look suddenly spoke volumes. It was easy to get lost in the calm that was Adam. So easy to forget.

The first time Davey had returned to Jade, had succumb to the enigmatic force that he could never fully part from, the guilt had been overwhelming. He’d felt sick, knowing that no matter how strong he proclaimed to be, he still fell at Jade’s feet taking whatever scraps were offered. He had broken down, told Adam everything. No matter what was happening between them Adam was his best friend. His confident. He had braced himself for the fallout; for the anger he knew he deserved for such a betrayal of trust.

But it hadn’t come. He had been stunned at Adam’s understanding, at his patience. “He’s a part of you, I know that. I watched it happen. I watched what it did to you. That kind of devastation leaves scars, I get that. You needed closure.” And at the moment Davey had sworn to himself to try harder, to be better. For Adam. For the budding thing that was ‘them’.

And he had. He put up walls to protect himself against his own weakness. But the temptation was always there, always lurking just below the surface threatening to pull him under. He never spoke of it, believing in vain that if he didn’t acknowledge it, if he pretended it wasn’t real, then it would go away. Denial had always been easier than truth and change was frightening. 

He’d given in again before too long. And had continued to do so, never speaking of it aloud. Never acknowledging what it meant or why it kept happening. Adam knew, of that he was certain, but he never spoke of it. He never called Davey out for his weakness. And Davey had taken that for understanding, permission even. So he continued to steal moments with Jade, reveling in their shared destruction, not giving a thought to the wreckage they would leave behind, and continued to cling to the safety that was Adam. He felt safe in the knowledge that he could have them both.

They had never defined what it was between them, never made any real claims on one another, at least that was what Davey had believed. What he had understood. He and Adam simply were. It was a wonderful freedom, knowing that no matter what had happened with Jade, Adam would be there. That he understood. So he had become reckless, throwing himself into the chaos that was his broken relationship with Jade. Stealing whatever moments he could and relishing in each bruise and bite mark. And when it had all become too much he would sink into the familiar comfort of Adam’s presence. Pretend that he wasn’t a liar, that he wasn’t all the things he told himself he would never become. Safe in the knowledge that no matter what, Adam would be there to catch him.

Adam had become a security blanket, something Davey didn’t know how to live without. He was warm and safe and dependable. No matter what happened, no matter what he said or did, Adam was there. Understanding and patient and perfect. It was easy now, to look back and see just how much he had taken Adam’s understanding and love for granted; knowing that he would always have his strong, capable arms to fall back on. Even though he didn’t need protecting, Davey enjoyed the comfort of knowing it was there. 

But the look in Adam’s eyes spoke of just how wrong he had been. There was no understanding now, only a deep, crushing pain that Davey was barely beginning to understand. He had finally pushed too far.


End file.
